you're lost in darkness ,

[PANTHEA AVE VERYN]

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Finding new ways to get under her sister's skin was a highlight of Panthea's day especially when they involved violence and bloodshed. She'd been doing it for weeks as a charming reminder to her sister that she wasn't going anywhere and thus far it was working like a treat. Her followers went out and descended upon Imperial City like a rabble of thieves, snagged girls who they assumed would be missed and brought them back to her upon doing so she'd drag them off to her beloved temple, watch them beg before slashing their throats over her alter. It relieved her stress and it pleased Keggor immensely; talk about a win all round. Tonight wasn't much different though she had been brutal in her execution her savageness stemming from a mood that had been boiling away for most of the day. A bitter row with Fabian had started it and it had gone down hill from that point on especially when everywhere she looked she was surrounded by insolent, pathetic maggots that didn't even deserve the title of slaves. Slaves worked hard these, on the other hand, did nothing but complain, and snivel at her feet for compassion. Panthea didn't have a compassionate bone in her body, mercy was for the weak, for her precious sister, for people beneath her...for people with humanity. Thea was a lump of coal in a crystal cave or at least her heart was. Everything about her was cold from her mannerisms to the way she spoke only the twisted saw something other than malevolence in her and even then she couldn't have cared less. She didn't care about what people thought about her, only if they feared her enough and even when they did it still wasn't enough. A glutton for the cold stench of fear and madly in lust with the way they acted when they were utterly consumed by it.

Most were and she absolutely adored it.

The flames from the torches surrounding her onyx safe haven licked up the walls as she remained still, kneeling down, deep in thought and prayer. With every cruel thought they flickered but the mere passing one of her sister sent them towering upward toward the heavens but even the flames weren't brave enough to send everything around her alight. She knew very well for every follower she had, Pandora had double that, but her sister had the foundation of her family, of their family, Thea had nothing and was rapidly working her way up like a spider creeping toward a fly stuck in it's web. The land was Thea's web, Pandora was tingled up in it, the outcome in Thea's eyes was inevitable. Pandora would be crushed along with her followers and anyone else that got her in her way. Cecilia too, just for the fun of it, just because she got in the way. The Dark Queen didn't need a reason to smite the vampire just like she didn't need a reason to squash every hope and dream the races had - peace? She hated the word. Yet she'd settle for it once she'd got everything she wanted hell deserved. She was the first born, she was the rightful heir to the crown and throne all of this could have been avoided if the right decision had been made but alas, it hadn't, and she had to clean up the mess because of it.

The raven haired beauty had always been the bad apple, always had been rotten to the core, her parents could see it and so could those close to the royal family. She'd been a spiteful child; stealing and breaking toys, ripping dresses to start and eventually pinching and punching her sister in places that weren't easily spotted and even when they were she'd swear blind she hadn't done it but Pandora the golden girl was always believed which only fueled Thea's hatred more. Jealousy, hatred it burned away for years but the belief of a crown held it at bay and when her hopes were dashed there was no stopping her. Looking up her eyes swept over the body of a young girl; death had set in hours prior and her skin had already started turning a muted grey - Efrain could deal with that, and mop up the fluids that could flow away from her when she was moved. He liked the dirty jobs, creepy little critter, but she wouldn't have been the same without him to mock, abuse and torment and all it cost her for his loyalty was a gentle touch in a few choice places. Brilliant.

• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

WORD COUNT • • SEVEN SEVEN ZERO
TAGGING • • CLOSED/ RYAN <3
LISTENING TO • • ESCAPE THE FATE - LOST IN DARKNESS
WEARING • • KISS IT, POLYVORE
MUSE • • I WISH IT WAS LONGER :c
NOTES • • HI :') SHE'S EVIL, I R SORRY

[ash]

these secrets are walls that keep us alone

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Samael wasn't stupid, granted, he was young, but he was talented. Maybe that's why Panthea allowed him such an important task- perhaps she gave him that task because he would blend in easily, his carefree and casual demeanor gained more trust then a darker, quiet one. He was also young, popping on to the doorstep in the land of light, a young boy who's charismatic attitude and subtle intelligence showed potential, enough to gain some trust and a few favors his way. He's the poor boy whose parents were murdered while their house was being robbed, and now he's seeking for revenge. All of those listed were true, his parents were slaughtered, however they were not Panthea's followers, but Pandora's; mistaking the location of his home and assuming that his family wanted to the current queen to be dead and let the darkness spread. Had that not happened, he would have remained neutral and continued to just try to live, raise food and put money on the table to continue the way that he had lived. Lucky for him, he got out, and where is he now? His life is more interesting then simply just growing food, his life was more then getting lucky with just a few coins, his life was more then sitting on his bed alone, trying to master his powers by himself. From his teachers, he learned so much, he could do almost anything- and he didn't restrict himself into dark magic, he wanted to learn anything- everything. Yes, and now his reality had gone much further then what he had dreamed of, and it only continued. There was nothing better then the thrill of feeling one's trust on his shoulders. He's not the most respected, but he had gone far enough.

With a glance in the mirror, he fixed his hair, frowning as he took the blade to the side of his head, shearing off a good portion of his hair and leaving the top as it is. He really had no idea why he was cutting the side of his head, but as he looked at his reflection and dipped his fingers in the oil to style his hair, he didn't think he looked that bad, actually. It seemed, to him, that the new look was do-able. Why was he looking so primped up? It depended on what one believed in, he just happened to always look good, he liked it when he looked different from everyone else, however, the problem is, is that he stood out a little more then he should. But the black, dirty and worn clock could cover it up well enough, he didn't need to worry as much. And the second? He was seeing the one person who had given him a second chance in being something of his life, granted, she wasn't the most compassionate, but he wasn't doing it for her, he wanted his own revenge to, and if it meant being by her side to watch her slaughter the innocent, then so be it.

Opting to trade the more fashionable and rare fabric of his tunics into the more common and cheaper clothes, he needed to look as dirty and rundown as possible, his face was somewhat clean shaven, despite the new haircut he could pass for an old farmer. As one hand worked to clasp the cloak together, his other hand opened the window, peering down at the second story window before eying the tree that was only a jump away. He had told everyone that he was going to be gone for a few days, the night- for his family's anniversary, they apparently died that night only a few years ago- and he felt the need to pay his respect for the people who worked hard and gave him everything they had.. until a gang of disgusting soldiers took them away from him. His lips curled into a scowl at the thought as he nimbly jumped from the sill to the tree, his lithe body quietly scampering down before kicking making his way down, further into the cheaper part of town to borrow a horse to steal into the night. A brown Stallion- Cadoc, it's name was, old, but obedient. If he judged correctly, he would need the every so lovely Dark Queen within a hour or so.

And he was right, his brown, focused eyes turned into the Temple of Keggor, holding back a shudder at the thought of how many people had died inside. How stained with blood the walls were, how flesh came into contact with metal and dangerous objects. If possible he would have avoided the Temple altogether, he feared that all the blood would come together and he would see the reflection of his dead family again. Or hear the distinct echos of their screams just before their heart simply stopped beating.

Sliding off the house, he kept his eyes lowered as he entered, feeling Death pulsate under his boots at every step he took. He stopped a little ways off from where he could feel Panthea's presence dominate the entire temple. He keeled in the blood, his eyes watching the flickering reflection of the torches. 'My queen, you have requested me, so here I am,' he murmured with a respectful dip of his head. Gone was the playful boy who flirted with women and had sexual conversations with men about their sexuality- gone was the boy who joked around and make the air lighter- here was Samael, before his queen, ready to do her bidding.

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[PANTHEA AVE VERYN]

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Her head remained dipped in prayer, hands still clasped together, lips still not forming her thoughts to her God. She'd always found the art of worship to be very intimate and part of the reason no one else came into the temple was just that. Efrain had been on her right side for the longest of times yet during the times she was here he was nowhere to be seen besides he didn't need to see what went on in here; she'd spare him that much. What a generous Queen she was! Sparing decent folk from seeing murder and mutilation. One could make light and jest over it but it was very clear that she had her favourites and that big eared, naive boy was at the top of the list not that said title wasn't well placed. Young, yes, but his youth came in handy; he worked hard, he was easily manipulated and most of all he had no qualms about ratting someone out for his own gain something that appealed to her. Most of her closest were young but calculating and wise beyond such tender years whereas Pandora's court were old, years spent prior with her father and stuck in their ways on how the land should be run. Her fair haired sister gave their advice utmost thought when it came to deciding and that, in her opinion, was her downfall. Old blood only had old ideas neither of which she'd have cared for had she been in her sister's position. Shifting her weight on the stone there was no denying the wet, stickiness under her knees was blood and the more it seeped into the heavy material of her dress the more she was reminded that it was blood well spent. Keggor would be pleased or as pleased as one such as he could be. There was no enjoyment for her come days like this sacrifices were relatively straightforward. A simple cut to the throat, several moments of gurgling and choking and then all was silent and Panthea was alone once more knees down on the hard stone as blood greeted her slowly.

Efrain would have a job tonight the girl had flailed too much, convulsed as she choked, made a mess of Thea's beautifully crafted temple. Perhaps, just this once, she'd send someone else to clean and take Efrain to her chambers with her. Her periods of sickness were more frequent and she'd already started feeling the effects of the day on her body but it was nothing a soak in the wooden tub wouldn't sort out. She smiled to herself at the thought of relaxing, the feeling of hands over her body, but the smile didn't last not that it ever did. She was a hard woman to please and it seemed that Fabian wasn't enough anymore. In short she'd started getting bored of him and her eyes had already started looking over others but she had a specific type and few matched it.

The Dark Queen would've heard a rat if it darted behind her but the intrusion was expected. Samael, like Efrain, was favoured and he knew it. With his boyish good looks and charming nature he'd made for a perfect little piece of her intricate puzzle. He'd got under Dora's nose easily acting as a rat taking info from her sister's precious city and brought it back to her and, despite his jack the lad temperament, he'd never once failed her and always came back with a delicious piece of information on the goings on in the place she'd once called home. She didn't rise to greet him instead stayed down on her knees in front of her alter "Ash," she purred lowly "it's a comfort to hear your voice" it was, really, but her truthful words would always come from a liars lips and couldn't be trusted. She wet her dry lips lubricating them for the words that followed "tell me..what news comes from Imperial City? Of my sister?" Icy eyes cut to her side, to him, and took in his features in the glowing light. She made a habit of looking them over not only for traces of deceit but for signs of tiredness. A tired spy slipped up and if he'd started showing it she'd start sending him out less. She couldn't afford to have him caught by one of the royal guards.

Rising up from the stone she looked over the temple again briefly "Come. It's been so long since we've talked and the night is young and should be admired" looking down at him she finished with a slight hand on his shoulder "you have no place in a pool of blood." Talking was easier out in the open when there was no threat of being heard. While Dora's men might have lurked the area they never came here she'd seen to that. Walking from the temple she was thankful for the cool evening air the torches might have gave her the atmosphere she adored but it got suffocating after a time. The walk would do them both some good it seemed besides there was no place for formality between them. She trusted him enough to turn her back on him after all and as magic users they were technically equals even if she never saw it as such. It seemed strange, when she thought about it, that she was so alone after days of being surrounded by the same people but she'd never been as alone as they day she'd left the white castle. Growing up as a small child the sisters were always surrounded by family friends and those the royals trusted those she now hated above the rest but she was proud of what she had now. Everything had been built from the ground up; her beloved fortress, her followers; all of it was hers and hers alone.

• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

WORD COUNT • • 983
TAGGING • • CLOSED/ RYAN <3
LISTENING TO • • MY MEDICINE - PRETTY RECKLESS
WEARING • • KISS IT, POLYVORE
MUSE • • UGH
NOTES • • UGH

[ash]

these secrets are walls that keep us alone

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Sameal took the silver of silence to peer over at the Queen. Her eyes seemed so dark, and he wondered how lonely she felt, despite being surrounded by her trusted royalties, ones who would do anything she bids. He wondered if deep down she was tired of being alone. They say that love fills up even the most deepest and coldest hole inside one's heart- and he wondered if it was true, if it would save anyone. It was silly, she wasn't the type of strong woman who would simply fall in love- in fact, he knew that it was easier to get his horse to travel with him without a fuss then it was for that hole to be filled. Outside, she seemed like a woman scorned, someone angry and looking for revenge- that was the quality that had drawn him to the Queen at first; because she didn't just sit back and watch what belonged to her be taken away- she set out to get it back, no matter the cost, the damages that would occur because of her actions. She has no sympathy for anyone who stood in her way- in fact, she had no sympathy for anyone. He admired that so. But still, all those dark magic that she dared to practice, with the war ripping apart the land- he dared wonder if she would make it out to see the end of it. How long would this last?

Turning his eyes back to the floor as she addressed him, his gaze slid over the soaked floor and inwardly shuddered. The lives that had been taken on this very floor, the screams that echoed in the very walls, the bodies that were carried away through those very archways. It was beautiful, the curves and pillars that made up the temple- but horrifying, the things that happened. If the cool marbles could talk, he shuddered at the thought of the things they could share, the memories that have seen. He had remembered hearing that no one every really went inside the temple but her, and someone else to mop up the mess- at least the eyes had never been tarnished with the events that unfold within the strong walls. But he couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor sod who had to clean them out. Ha- he wasn't them, had it been appropriate he would have danced with smugness.

Standing, he kept his head lowered as he addressed her. 'It has,' he agreed slowly, his head dipping as the moved to a steady walk. The robes he wore shuffled against the ground, his shoes scuffed up the pooling thick liquid as they exited. 'Goddess, I do pray that you are doing well,' he said slowly- dark magic was a horrible thing- of course, he knew a fair share of them simply because some were much stronger then the spells they taught at the White Castle, but there was a reason why not everyone practiced it- the payment it demanded, the toll it took on the body was a reckless thought. Looking ahead, he shrugged lightly. 'As for news from the city, I admit that there isn't much lately,' he murmured. He wasn't slacking, was he? He may be a little busy chasing girls- but he did his job well, hopefully.

'But there is news with the werewolves and the humans,' he said suddenly, looking up at the sky as he spoke, reaching up to run his fingers through the hair on the side of his head, only remember that he had cut it off just before his left. Blinking, he dropped his clasped his hands together behind his back as he walked.

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[PANTHEA AVE VERYN]

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Love had been a silly little thought as a child a silly thought when she'd pondered her future King; tall, dark, handsome with a fist of iron and many qualities her sister would shudder at but Panthea was no ordinary child and she'd grown into no ordinary woman. Love might have been out of the question now since she had no time for it but a King, on the other hand, wasn't. Would it have been Fabian? Quite possibly. He had the required traits she wanted but he also had the same power hungry nature she had and one war for the throne was enough for anyone. Maybe in the future for she was certain she'd see this until the very end and spend the rest of her life in the throne her forefathers had sat in. She held her head high despite her fatigue and glanced to him again with a small nod "how could I be anything but well, Ash? Do you not sense victory on the horizon?" If her father taught her anything it was always remain confident and never, ever show fear. Even if she wouldn't have admitted it she took his teachings to heart unfortunately most got twisted on the way there but as bent up as they were they were working. Her following grew at a steady rate and those who hadn't sworn their support soon did after her men got involved. It didn't matter that they'd had their hands forced when it came to deciding as long as they did and her numbers went up after all there was no way she could overcome her sister with nothing more than a large rabble behind her.

She looked hopeful for half a second as he started but any hope was wiped from her face when he finished. That really was a pity but it only meant that her sister was slacking off. Not to worry there was still plenty of time, plenty of time she could make use of while her sister focused on fluffy bunnies or whatever her cotton soft mind found delight in. Nodding again she kept her eyes forward as they walked "that's a pity I had hoped things had progressed a little more since you've been gone but no matter swiftness was never my sister's forte" another dig at her sister, another sly smile pulling on the corner of her pale lips, another chance to ridicule greedily taken "with the summer's festivities starting I suppose they're trying to act as normal as possible" she glanced to her surroundings "keep the peasants happy" Pandora's kindness was as well known as Panthea's cruelty and while she paid attention to her subjects Thea could care less what the disease ridden mass did. They were pawns, objects to be used in battle, their lives were worthless.

Keeping their pace she sighed a little as the night took over the remaining light. She'd always found the night sky magnificent and remarked to her father as a young child that if she ever had the power she'd keep the sky in it's darkened state. He'd laughed, prattled on about how the light had equal rights to the dark and the two lived in perfect harmony with each other but the twisted child had other ideas. The dark was majestic, it's splendor greater than that of the light, and should've ruled more of the sky and time than it's fair sibling. Funny how after all this time she'd give much more thought to her father's words. Panthea looked to him again keeping silent. She'd always knew that with the vampires on her side their furry rivals would side with the light but the humans? That was quite the turn around. She brushed it off, she still had work to do with the elves and with them onside the battle was almost won. As beautiful and wise as they were it was nothing compared to their armies and efforts in war. She scoffed "King Murkrule can't keep his house in order he's no great loss" he was, a huge loss indeed, and with his powerful army taken from her and placed behind her sister it made her pause for thought "evidently she hasn't been slacking quite as much as I thought" her brow creased as she spoke "I'll send the men out first thing to descend on Tasegara. Lives lost will surely disrupt her morning" she mused openly tossing a blanket of hair over her shoulder. The game of who could outdo the other hadn't changed much just the actions both took while they played.

• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

WORD COUNT • • 765
TAGGING • • CLOSED/ RYAN <3
LISTENING TO • • MY MEDICINE - PRETTY RECKLESS
WEARING • • KISS IT, POLYVORE
MUSE • • UGH
NOTES • • HAGHAGHAG

[ash]

these secrets are walls that keep us alone

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Sam shook his head against the breeze of the night, running his fingers through his hair (even with the presence of the Queen he couldn't help himself, him and his hair). He brushed a stray leaf out of his hair and nodded absently to her words- however they were just words, he wasn't sure if he should believe it. 'I feel that we've reached a significant point of the war, luck is on our side,' he muttered in reply, being honest- he couldn't lie, while the Queen had grown up being taught that she was to be confident in everything and was sure that things would be her way- he was different. While he was sure that they would win this wretched war at one point or another, he didn't know about how soon it would come- the odds were starting to stack against them, just as it was stacked against Pandora before, tipping back and forth. It was like a game of tugging the rope that he had used to play with the other children back home. He gave her a sideways glance, eyes filled with worry. She was tired, to him almost exhausted, and he hoped it would end soon, just like she had said, because people were starting to wear- on everyone. 'It's on the horizon, but it's further then I wish it to be,' he said quietly, he was sure that it wasn't going to end tomorrow.

He nodded slowly, disappointed in seeing the hope flee her face like the blood drain a victim of the war. What he wouldn't do to give her some sort of information to return back to her that would make her happy (even if that emotion seem to be out of reach for her). A smile would suit her features so well- it was such a disappointment to Sam that he couldn't deliver it, not a laugh, or the smallest hint of light on her sharp features. It would mean a lot of him, it would mean victory, the ending, it would mean that all his work was worth something in the end. He hoped that there was still that chance that would tip them back into the god's and goddess' favors. 'I had hoped so as well, things seem to be a little slow, your sister is still intent on bringing you back under her favor- and she treats her servants well, other then that, I don't see much of a change,' he uttered thoughtfully, recalling a bit ago, having breakfast with her.

With the smallest of chuckles, he recalled the trips out of the castle to watch for the farmers and life outside of the castle. 'The summer solace, there seems to be a rustle among the villages- it is a time for people to get together and celebrate life-' he murmured slowly. It was for the benefit for those who really didn't know what was going on in the war, it wasn't like someone kept up with it- it was all based on rumors after all, and he's heard his fair share of stories and gossips.

Blinking at her reaction to his news, he turned and gave her a quick, incredulous look. If he was her, he would have been appalled at the news, but she seemed to have brushed it off as nothing. He wondered what was she thinking, that she could just let it go with a promise of destroying a fairly innocent town to disrupt her sister. He frowned slightly and bowed his head in respect. 'That is an unfortunate loss, big or small- whatever are you to do about the humans?' he inquired. Was that it? He would have expected her to jump the snake, have someone travel over to the humans dwelling and threaten them to change sides or something.

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[PANTHEA AVE VERYN]

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True enough while their (in her opinion) victory was on the horizon it was too far away much too far away for her to reach out and snatch from under her sister's nose. Yet. It would come soon enough when the fates decided enough was enough and she'd sit pretty in her castle for the rest of her life. Oh, to be a dreamer indeed. Arrogant and determined she was so very sure she'd win this but as he spoke her mind went over the races neither had called upon; the fairies were out of the question. Ever since she'd had a run in with one of the royals they'd got up her nose and even now when she needed numbers she wouldn't call on them. Pandora would, of course, without thinking about the trouble they caused. The winged race couldn't help themselves when it came to mischief and if she hadn't be so serious she'd have chuckled at the thought of them flitting around disrupting her sister's men as they slept weary from a days fight. No smile came and she moved onto the elves; they didn't need thinking about twice just how she could get her foot in the door before her sister. The wise race would stand firm if she tried forcing their hands and, if anything, if she even attempted it they'd quickly side with her sister regardless of hearing her request. No, they'd take a bit more thought and planning before she moved in. Panthea wasn't the only one to use dark magic and once word went around she was certain more like herself would come to her in favour of her promise to allow it again. Blue eyes sparkled at the thought of the orcs; grand in numbers it didn't matter to her that they fought among themselves as long as they focused long enough to aid her. Let Pandora have her mutts and humans (though they wouldn't go without rebuff) she'd call on the ones that her blonde haired sister would disregard. The creatures and monsters that made man shake in their boots, the creatures and monsters that only thought about blood and death.

Thea rolled her eyes "yes, well, my sister is an idiot" there was no way in the nine hells that Panthea would ever go back to her sister, live under her rule, and play happy families. Hate aside there was too much blood shed for things to change now. She'd wronged the Kingdom and made an absolute mockery of her noble bloodline "her intent is better suited in preparing to protect her lands and people. I have no desire to return only to take what's rightfully mine." As for her treating her servants well? Unnecessary. They were paid to serve not receive kindness "if my sister thought more on change she'd have a better chance. Her council is old, their ideas are old fashioned, and she's seen too few winters to see that keeping them isn't wise." Hate all round how splendid she was feeling better already.

A laugh sounded from her lips - a small, cold laugh as she shook her head "how easily they're occupied" Thea had the usual plan of action. A sacrifice, a feast and letting go of the reigns on the men. Allowing them to run free to do what they pleased would surely cause a stir and likelihood of blood being spilled was high. Fantastic fun! Pandora's side found enjoyment in lavish festivities and food, Thea's side would find it in whatever way their cold hearts desired and the dark queen herself? Would offer something to earn favour of the gods. Glancing to him she smiled that same twisted smile she always had on her face when she'd planned something malicious "Ogden's heart belongs to his daughter" she explained twisting the ring on her finger "he's much more likely to see sense if she's involved but the rest? It's my business and you shouldn't trouble yourself with it" Failing that one of the others would do like the brat prince Julian. The eldest had always been a spoiled child and demanded the entire rooms attention be on him wherever he went and with the promise of getting just that who knows? While his father ruled at twenty-one he had a mind of his own a mind that she could play on.

With a sparkle in her eye as she spoke she offered him another smile as she finished "do you have plans for the solstice? You seldom talk of family aside from your parents. Do you have siblings? Other relatives?" Nearing her own horse she brushed her hand along it's coat as she walked "it goes without saying you're invited to celebrate with us if you wish though with my sister I suppose it'll be tricky" the beauty pressed her lips together in thought "and I've never heard a whisper about you wanting something from me or anyone else" her eyes flicked between his face and the land as she spoke.

• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

WORD COUNT • • 836
TAGGING • • CLOSED/ RYAN <3
LISTENING TO • • LAMINATED E.T. ANIMAL - D.R.U.G.S
WEARING • • KISS IT, POLYVORE
MUSE • • UGH
NOTES • • HAGHAGHAG

[ash]

these secrets are walls that keep us alone

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Taking a breath, Sam nodded. The land had been suffering, and along with it, its people. He figured that she just wanted one day to ease his mind off of things, one day to just celebrate nature, one day to take a breath and breathe, know that they are still living, despite the long path ahead. Still, he understood why, but at a time like this? War? It wasn't something that should be taken lightly, but a chance to celebrate, knowing him, he couldn't just pass up on it and let it go. It would be good, to sit back and just enjoy the day, instead of wondering if he would live to see through the war. He was still young, and thoughts like that weighed him down- it made him feel.. heavy, like a weight had settled on him and won't go away, much like the clouds that rolled through the land of darkness. Some time off would be good for him, wouldn't it? Hopefully- or so be believed. With a dip of his head, he nodded. 'Forgive me, that's not my place to ask,' he uttered.

He a short intake of breath, he thought about home. 'It's a little silly,' he started, rubbing the back of his neck. 'I was nothing but the son of a farmer and his wife; we never had much, so family was important when food was rare- I grew up believing they were the most important thing in my life- and when they were suddenly taken away from me, I thought no one could really fill that hole my parents left behind.. no one important enough to take their place,' he ducked his head and looked away. And he still didn't. 'I was the only child in the family- Goddess, we would have starved if I had any siblings,' he gave out a snort- often he had wished he had a brother, an older figure to look out for him. 'Relatives, as far as I know, there are a few just trying to live, but most are gone.. I don't see them because I worry that my life would catch up to them,' he shrugged. He had never contacted them since the day his parents died, he wasn't sure if they were alive or not, he wasn't even sure where they lived if they were. He never saw them again.

When Thea went on about him wanting something else, he bit his lip and gave her a half hearted shrug when she glanced in his direction. 'I guess I want that one person who would I could be with, and everything- the pain, my past- falls behind me; someone who could make me laugh, and will be the only thought in my head- nothing else... someone who meant as much to me as family,' he stroked the horses neck as he spoke- finding it a hard subject to talk about, seeing as he tried to avoid speaking about it as much as possible- but he couldn't not answer a question Thea had asked, and once the words started, they wouldn't stop. 'But I don't want to be with someone I can never have- that would be hard to bear. Someone who wants your sister to win this war, and I believe you will, our differences would only split us.. and yet I am rarely here, so for someone who wishes for you to be the Queen.. I simply cannot find the time to be with them,' he spared her a quick glance. 'And as for taking something from you- I can't, I can't take something that isn't mine to begin with, and if they are yours, I won't even be able to have it, will I?'

Clearing his throat he looked at the sky. 'As for the solstice, I can stay for the first half of the day, and travel home later.. knowing all the people there and the festivities, she may not even know I was gone,' he replied, not wanting to decline on the offer. 'Besides, a little time away from the Land of the Light would do me good,' he added with a grin.

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[PANTHEA AVE VERYN]

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Panthea didn't make a habit of asking her 'followers' about their lives because it was better to keep their relationships as professional as possible. Call it whatever you liked but she was interested for her once. Sweeping her hand over the horse she looked to him for a second as he started speaking but her look didn't last any longer than that. She listened intently or as intently as one could with a million things running through their mind. None of her court as far as she was aware were from a privileged background but Ash always had a different air about him. From the way he spoke right down to the way he carried himself it didn't strike her as someone coming from a working class background whether that was his intention or not. He wasn't as easy to work out as the others; the key to Andras was and would likely always be his insatiable urge to slice and dice whenever he had the chance with a particularly curious preference for fairies and their wings and Quinton? His living dead girl. Those were the first two but the others beat more or less to the same drum the only one that didn't was Efrain her big eared slave boy. That wasn't entirely true, of course, she knew what Efrain liked but it wasn't something she had no hand in in fact just about everything Efrain confessed to liking involved Panthea. Most couldn't find a reason for her brutality to the boy - she couldn't either half the time - but she knew of his fondness for the whip and the way he'd quiver at the anticipation of whatever horrible insult she threw his way. They had a name for it, for people like him, but she didn't care enough to recall it.

Nodding, she threw him an understanding look at not wanting to mix his family - however many that were left- in with the life he led. While she couldn't relate she could in way understand where he was coming from; she assumed it wasn't easy playing judas with her sister - a role he played so effortlessly - but compared to constantly lying to people who genuinely cared about you would've been so much harder. She never had that problem; she was always open about her hatred for her family and told them on more than one occasion how much she despised them with the exception of her sister whom she told every chance she got. Panthea didn't have a rule book when it came to how she led her life; if she had to lie, she would, if she had to steal, she'd take it without a shadow of doubt in her mind and cheating? Cheating came easy. She was a natural born cheat and if she had to cheat her way into claiming the throne she would. Nothing was going to stop her especially not morals and words she'd grown up having to listen to over and over again. Her parents had tried to raise her well, tried to make her into a good natured girl but nothing could change rot and that's exactly what the eldest sister was: rotten, rotten to the core.

Running her fingers through the horse's mane she looked at him, her face blank, while she knew the meaning of each word he spoke coupled together she didn't have a clue. He could've been speaking of love or simply a companion or friend. Neither of which she really cared for but she knew some people dabbled in those things and not everyone was stuck in their ways like she was. Looking away as he spoke of her sister she nodded again, briefly; him being with someone delusional certainly wouldn't do. Part of her wanted to speak up and point out that anyone would be a distraction but an even bigger part told her to remain silent and keep her opinions to herself and for the first time in a very long while she did just that. Perhaps she was going a little soft but she knew of dreams and wishes and the pain they caused when someone brushed them off as nonsense. She pressed her lips together as she thought it over "it would depend on what the item was in question" she cast him another look. The Dark Queen wasn't the most charitable of people and her generosity wasn't something that was linked to her name but really there were only a few things that she held dear still... it really would've depended on what it was and how much of a hag she was feeling before being asked. Everything depended on her mood and it was up to them to find her when she wasn't in a foul one.

Tightening a hand on the leather reign of her horse she aided it forward after a double click of her tongue. The beast was well trained and knew that she above all people would never hurt a hair on it's head. There was always something special about the bond a horse and it's rider shared and there was no doubt that Panthea loved the creature deeply. With a small laugh she couldn't help but agree "being surrounded by do-gooders..it gets overbearing, doesn't it?" Overbearing was one way of putting it another not so polite way of putting it was vomit inducing. She never did have a strong stomach when it came to manners and happiness.

• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• •• ••

WORD COUNT • • 918
TAGGING • • CLOSED/ RYAN <3
LISTENING TO • • THAT GIRL - ALL TIME LOW
WEARING • • KISS IT, POLYVORE
MUSE • • UGH
NOTES • • HAGHAGHAG

[ash]

these secrets are walls that keep us alone

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Sam was completely lost in his thought after his words escape. For a moment, he looked down at the ground as he neared his own tempermental beast. However she must have sensed the Queen near, since she was completely calm, only turning a head to watch the Dark Angel as she brushed her fingers across her own horse. Sam, on the other hand, turned his eye on her and glowered. Irritable beast, he thought. Though, she wasn't used to the younger sorcerer, she was used to being pampered. And he won't do it. However, he didn't utter a word, his mind still wandering on the frayed edges of his sketchy past, of course, there was more, much more- his friends, what happened the night his parents died, what events unfolded afterwards; all memories suppressed well and locked up in his head. And people say that keeping things inside was a horrible idea- look at him. But Thea had never asked him that, and so he never added anything more to his words. He reached up and grabbed hold of the reigns, the other hand stroking the expanse of her back as he gave it a few pats before readying it to leave. Brushing his hand through his hair, his brown eyes flickered to the side to catch the movement in her vision.

He had turned back just in time to see the blank look that had been given to him as he spoke. He let out a light laugh. 'I know, that's how I feel,' he agreed, musingly shaking his head. That was just is, it didn't mean anything sometimes. Sometimes he wished for a lover who would care for him uncondiationally and always be there for him to lean against, and other times he wished for a friend, someone who backed him up no matter what he did and stood his ground even when they got caught. Or maybe he just wanted someone close, for emotional support. He wouldn't lie and say that it wasn't easy to play his part, but that didn't mean it always was like that. There were people in the White Castle that he really did care about, and people in the streets that suffered that he truly worried over- he hated to lie to their faces, he sometimes hated to play his part- maybe he wished for someone who would sit and listen, in truth and reality; someone like that would never exist, he was to tell no one, lest wandering ears pick up something they shouldn't. Moments like that are bound to come by at one point or another.

Maybe it was a bit of all three. 'You could say I don't know what I want. I have an idea, a color- but I don't know the shade nor tint of it,' he explained, trying to make sense, maybe not to Thea, but to himself. That was his problem there- he lied when he needed to do his job for Thea, he obeyed orders when Dora asked him to do something, but for himself? He didn't know what to do with himself. He couldn't complain, he had friends (real or not) that he could talk to; which would be another reason why he never talked about it, hard times comes and goes, he just had to push himself through it. It wasn't like he didn't have other things to do besides sit there and think about it. It didn't matter to him, he was fine with what he had chosen- it seemed, to him, like a path he should take alone, but it was war, sacrafices had to be made. He just had to deal with them.

Raising his brow at her response, he wondered how far would Thea go if he had asked for a favor. His mind immediately wandered far and vast, away from Thea and the temple. Ah, it would depend on what it was. His lips curled into the familiar devious smile at the thought he shook his head with a light laugh. 'I guess there has never been anything I've really wanted that I couldn't get myself,' he uttered with a knowing grin. A few lines here and there and girls were falling for him already. For now, simplicity was key, complications made it hard for him to lie and cover up anyways. He shrugged lightly, fixing his hair thoughtfully. He had seen Thea in her bad moods- none too horrible, but he wasn't at the fortress all that often, so he had never really seen the wrath she could inflict upon others, but he wouldn't want to anyways. Finding time to pester her for something seemed like a surefire way to get oneself... horribly.... a lot of things. She did a lot of things to a lot of people, he wouldn't even know where to begin to list it.

Bracing against the horse, he was about to pull himself up and on the saddle before he let out a chuckle and nod to match the Dark Angel's. 'You could say that, I've missed being here,' he agreed lightly. It wasn't a bad thing, but here, there was always less formality, unless directed at the Queen herself, there, everyone was bowing to everyone, one day they were going to bash their heads in and get a headache from doing it too often and too hard.

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